Clouds are made of vapor

With all the exuberance over cloud computing lately, the push to turn applications into a utility has got me thinking: is all the hype over cloud-hosted apps really worth the amount of strenuous thought and discourse we see?

Or is Cloud Computing the latest in a series of niche technology paradigms that is receiving much broader credit and faith than it is due?

Time will be the ultimate judge, of course. Will the Cloud end up a buzzterm that in retrospect seems silly to have given so much due, joining previous dead buzzterms like “push content” and “webcasting”?

It seems to me that the Cloud’s best role is that of a shared infrastructure, where teaming creates economies of scale for data manipulation, high-intensity calculation (like rendering, indexing, and DSP), file sharing, content management, and other multi-node or multi-user tasks.

But why is the trumpet sounding so loudly on behalf of using the Cloud to host productivity applications? Who really wants to give up the comforts of desktop apps for the “greener” pastures of the Cloud?   Microsoft Office may be moving online, but does it really matter whether my launchpoint for the software is my local drive or a web server?  It’s not like I’m running out of hard disk space.  Moreover, there are many frustrating nuances to using productivity apps through the web.  Native drag and drop is missing.  Font management is effectively missing.  And what about bandwidth?   Ever try to embed a 300 DPI 11×17 RAW into a two-page spread using the Cloud?  Drink a cup of coffee, nom a doughnut, and it *might* be done by the time you’re finished with your snack.

Oh, and what if your Internet connectivity goes down.  Eh, sorry, there goes your document.  And, oh, by the way, you can’t relaunch the office suite until your Internet connectivity comes back up.  Just yesterday I had a Salesforce.com-using client asking me how to get web reports from Salesforce.com without Internet access. She was offline.  I told her to go find a WiFi hotspot. See what I mean?

We love things because they’re new and bold, and perhaps not because they warrant our adoration. Cloud Computing is just such a concept.  Not saying there isn’t a noble purpose for it, but farming processing tasks to the cloud is smart because it doesn’t slow the user down, doesn’t require an online-all-the-time user state, and doesn’t require desktop OE interoperability the way user-facing apps do.  That’s why I’ve never been a real big fan of Zoho or the Google apps, and why I’m unlikely to become a Cloud-based MS Office user.

I actually agree with Microsoft’s hesitation on this one. Sure, their arrival to the Cloud party is late, but look at what is being celebrated at this bash: something most people A) don’t need B) can’t use regularly and C) will actually experience better results by avoiding.

Google’s Gears technology seeks to bridge the gap between web-service-based apps (last year’s word for “the Cloud”).  Hardware-centricity still matters, because ultimately it’s hardware features that sell people into the Cloud to begin with.  So if web computing is the end-all-be-all of desktop apps, things like Gears are going to start coming from Microsoft.  If not, Microsoft will have saved a ton of R&D money.

Gadgets are sexy, and they are the face of the global network.  Imagine buying a suit from a store where all the sales reps are ugly, slow, and occassionally take a very lengthy lunch break during the middle of your measurements.  You wouldn’t come back to that store.   That’s why high end clothiers have well-dressed, well-groomed, attentive salespeople.  They’re on when you’re on, they help you at all times, and they look good.

The Cloud can’t possibly provide the same level of service when it comes to desktop apps.  Not today, not tomorrow. Probably not next year.  So I’ll keep buying my suits at decent stores and I’ll keep my productivity apps where they work best for me–my desktop.

983 thoughts on “Clouds are made of vapor

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